All of us have our own outlook, or view, of the self — if not a mode of decree with our self-proclaimed identity. We feel we are our own masters holding the magic wa­nd to unlock the deep mysteries of life. We also feel we are ‘victims’ for no rhyme, or reason. The latter percolates every aspect of our being; it also plays a defensive role, because the argument is simple and uncomplicated. We justify our lot as something that is beyond one’s control — that we could not choose the time of our birth at a particular time, or place, on a particular day, or era.
What’s more, as most of us would dispute, we did not ask for what we got, or did not receive, from the word go. This is easier said than done, or amplified, because most of us would certainly think of what we now have, or don’t, as yet, albeit we would all make our paramount efforts, or put our best foot forward to achieve what we want to, or aspire for — come what may. The equation is evident — when we do well, we celebrate and, when we fail, we blame others, not our flawed efforts, or inadequacies. In other words, we are endowed with our own ticket to carp, or nitpick. You’d call it by any name — for instance, helplessness, or problems, that emerged from nowhere. We don’t accept the fact that we were not well prepared, or focused.
When this happens, we embrace the belief that we cannot be of assistance to oneself. From there flows the universal salvo — ‘How can we help others when we can’t help ourselves?’ This is erroneous, a far from reality facet. Just think of people around you who have surmounted great odds to lend a helping hand to others in distress — notwithstanding their own shortfall. They are, as the Beatles, could have, perforce, with a deliberate twist, crooned “All the ‘lovely’ people” who found or find their own call, or instinctive urge, to change their — and, also others’ — lives with little, or marginal, resources in hand.
There is no need to feel overwhelmed, or victimised, by our situation. All of us have the wherewithal to change, or transform, provided we understand the true meaning and purpose of our lives and empathise with what we would like to do, or achieve, in life — not just materialistic embellishments, but also all the simple ornaments of life, such as living in harmony with oneself and others. This is not as easy as it may sound, yes, but it is not impossible to attain as well. The best thing to do is to be in sync with our values, not just interests, because the more open and receptive we are, the better we will all be to find our call in simple, yet sublime, diversions such as the arts, painting, drawing, music and/or literature to exemplify, or display, what we truly believe in and advocate.
Once this occurs, we would be in a much better position to understand our inner self, which is tantamount to being a part of the whole process of being — a sequence, a sense of understanding, or in popular parlance, the feel-good-factor, something that makes us feel cheerful and contented — along with a sense of ‘good to great’ self. Philosophers contend that our connotation of the ‘great to a greater self’ becomes prevailing, when we comprehend that we are in accord with our thoughts and feelings. This holds the ‘prompt’ for us to become proactive — not reactive — as if we are all on a long, blissful vacation in sylvan surroundings.
(The writer is a wellness
physician and author)
Rajgopal Nidamboor